A Solo Traveller Woman's Nightmare

A Solo Traveller Woman's Nightmare

When India Became a Scary Dream

India has long been a dream vacation because of its bright hues, rich history, and spiritual appeal. As a young lady from the EU, I wanted to go on an experience by myself that would push me and let me see new things. But what I had was nothing like the exotic dream I had in mind. My vacation to India swiftly turned into a nightmare. I was always on edge in a dirty, chaotic, and frequently scary place.

The onslaught on my senses started as soon as I got off the plane. My lungs hurt because the air was heavy with a mix of exhaust fumes, dust, and a smell of decay that I can't describe. It wasn't just a smell; it was a real thing that stuck to my hair and clothes, reminding me of the pollution all the time. Everything was hard to breathe, and every time I looked at a building, street, or even the gorgeous, complex architecture, I could see layers of dirt on everything. The romantic ideas about old temples were swiftly replaced by the reality of their surrounds, which were typically mountains of trash, standing water, and a clear lack of cleanliness. The pictures I'd seen in travel books were very different from this one, which was really sad.

The physical environment was hard, but it was nothing compared to the constant social climate. As a single, light-skinned lady, I was different from everyone else, and everyone was always curious about me. The looking began right away and never really stopped. People followed me with their gaze on buses, in marketplaces, and even on ostensibly safe streets. It wasn't always obviously hostile, but it was quite intrusive. I felt exposed, vulnerable, and like a specimen under a microscope when dozens or perhaps hundreds of eyes were on me. Simple things like getting a glass of water or waiting for a rickshaw turned into tests of endurance, and I always felt like I was being watched, scrutinised, and sometimes even hunted.

The feeling of not being safe was always there, day and night. During the day, I had to be on guard all the time as I was walking through congested streets, not just for my things but also for my own space. When I accidentally brushed into someone in a crowd, it frequently felt like I meant to do it, and a simple touch of a hand might make my spine tingle. Not respecting personal space was confusing and, to be honest, scary. The worry grew as night fell. The busy streets would change, with shadows getting longer and the feeling of being alone getting stronger, even in a throng. I had to get back to my room before nightfall, which turned into a desperate dash against a made-up menace. The streets seemed dangerous, the looks were more intense, and the murmurs were scarier. I remember one night when I was attempting to make my way back to a guesthouse. I was completely bewildered and scared as groups of guys gathered around me and stared at me. It was hard to imagine going out for supper after dark.

Sleep didn't help much. The sounds from the street—horns blaring, dogs barking, and people talking in the distance—would get through the thin walls. The loudness was bad, but the dread that stayed with me was terrible. Every creak, every yell from far away, and every shadow outside my window would wake me up with my pulse racing, sure that danger was right beyond my door. There were times when I slept with my rucksack under my head, my passport and cash close by, ready to run away at any moment. The ideal of adventure had turned into a reality where I had to always be on guard.

My trip to India, which I thought would help me learn more about myself, turned out to be a never-ending lesson in survival and a sign of deep disappointment. It wasn't the spiritual awakening I had hoped for or the cultural immersion I had been looking forward to. Instead, it was a scary experience for a lady travelling alone through a dirty, confusing, and scary place. I wanted to wake up from the terrifying dream I was having. It was a sharp reminder that even the most appealing places can have unexpected and very scary truths.